Away for the week

When I started my new job with Union County it was understood that after about a year I would have to start taking classes to enhance my skills as a tax assessor. But because of scheduling issues, I think, my department has me going away to Chapel Hill—after just four months—for a week of training starting on Monday. The class is called Judo-Yoga and the Art of Tax Payer Dispatch. Okay, no it isn’t. It’s called Property Tax Listing and Assessing, but I like the sound of the Judo-Yoga class much better.

The class runs four days, Monday through Thursday, and there’s a test Friday morning (how dare they) at nine, and then I’ll come home right afterward, which is nice of course, because I’ll get back by mid-afternoon making for a somewhat abbreviated work day. That’s right, a workday. Just because I’m eating eggs benedict on the County, copying answers for the test from the geek next to me, and charging a Starbucks to the county for the drive home doesn’t mean I’m not working.

Incidentally, I’m not a big fan of overnight travel for work-related purposes, especially trips that require several consecutive nights away from home. But I've been fortunate up to this point in my life to not EVER spend a night away for business. Of course, a good number of my vocational years I spent in self-employment, but that’s not the point.

The point is I don’t want to be away from home unless I'm with Audry (I can hear your heart-felt sobs). In five years of marriage we’ve been lucky not to have been apart on more than two occasions, and for only two nights both times. The first time is when Audry stayed with her friend Jennifer to attend an architecture seminar in Boston, and the second is that time early in our marriage when I neglected to change my socks for several days straight and had to sleep in the tool shed until I promised to submit to regular hygiene inspections.

But those days are over. Thank goodness for all of us.

Anyway, that’s the sad state of my (and Audry’s) life this week. So do your health a favor and give Audry a buzz this week. Or I’ll mail my dirty socks to your front door.